«Keepin' It Real! (PILOT EPISODE) Written by Kenya Barris Writer's Second Draft (NETWORK REVISIONS) 1/17/14 WGA REGISTERED ©2013, ABC Studios. All ...»
"UNTITLED ANTHONY ANDERSON"
"Keepin' It Real!"
Writer's Second Draft (NETWORK REVISIONS)
©2013, ABC Studios. All rights reserved. This material is the
exclusive property of ABC Studios and is intended solely for the
use of its personnel. Distribution to unauthorized persons or
reproduction, in whole or in part, without the written consent of ABC Studios is strictly prohibited.
UNTITLED ANTHONY ANDERSON "Pilot" 1/17/14 1.
BLACK Public Enemy’s, “Fight the Power” BLASTS.
INT. DRE’S BEDROOM - DAY (DAY 1) ANGLE ON: an IPHONE 5S, laying on its back. The case reads, “IF FOUND… YOU’RE WELCOME.” A HAND stops the ALARM. CAMERA PANS and RESTS on the wide faced smile of ANDRE “DRE” JOHNSON, 30’s, Black (not African-American, he hates that shit), still laying in bed.
DRE (V.O.) Okay, so, I’m just your standard, regular ol’, massively well endowed, Black dude.
CAMERA PANS to Dre’s sleeping wife, RAINBOW, 30’s, mouth agape, drooling, hair disheveled, one eye partially opened.
DRE (V.O.) This drooling, jaundice complexioned, mixed race woman is my wife, Rainbow.
And despite what she looks like right now, she’s a doctor.
INT. DRE’S BATHROOM - A LITTLE LATER (DAY 1) Dre’s now out of bed and brushing his teeth.
DRE (V.O.) We’re lucky. We’ve got great jobs...
INSERT: WHITE BACK DROPSFX: DING! - DRE, casually dressed, and RAINBOW, in a physician’s white coat, POP INTO THE WHITE BACKDROP, arm in arm, all smiles.
DRE (V.O.) A great house...
SFX: DING! - An impressive TWO STORY COLONIAL HOME POPS into the frame filling the previously WHITE BACKGROUND.
DRE (V.O.) And four great kids...
SFX: DING! DING! DING! DING! - Dre’s kids (ZOEY, 14, ANDRE JR., 13, JACK, 6, DIANE, 6) POP IN and complete the now BEAUTIFUL FAMILY PORTRAIT that is THE JOHNSON’S.
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INT. DRE’S CLOSET - A LITTLE LATER (DAY 1) Dre stands in front of a ridiculously large collection of HIGH-END SNEAKERS, deciding on a shoe for the day.
DRE (V.O.) I guess for a kid from the hood, I’m living the American Dream. Only problem is; Whatever ‘American’ it was who had the ‘Dream’, probably wasn’t Black. And if he was, he should have mentioned the part about how when Brotha’s start getting a little money, stuff starts getting a little weird.
EXT. DRE’S HOUSE - FANTASY SEQUENCEA ROOFLESS SIGHTSEEING TOUR VAN rides past Dre's house as he and the kids play outside. A TOUR GUIDE on a PA SYSTEM speaks to the TOURISTS in the van.
INT. DRE’S KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS
Dre, drinking coffee, notices the newspaper’s headline:
“MILEY CYRUS – TWERKIN' 9 TO 5!!” He groans, disgusted.
INSERT: The most BOOTYLICIOUS PICTURE of KIM KARDASHIAN legally possible to show on network television.
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EXT. MALL - PARKING LOT - FLASHBACKDre’s cruising the parking lot looking for a space. As he finds one it’s SWOOPED IN on by a WHITE SOCCER MOM in a MINI VAN.
Dre SHOOTS the Soccer Mom his MEANEST 'BIG SCARY BLACK GUY' MUG he can muster. Unfazed, and without missing a beat, the Soccer Mom SHOOTS HIM BACK THE BIRD. On DRE'S GRIMACE we,
MATCH CUT TO:
INT. DRE’S KITCHEN - CONTINUOUS DRE'S GRIMACE, remembering the moment, biting into his pastry.
DRE (V.O.) But it did kinda have its advantages.
INT. DRE’S HOUSE - KITCHEN - MORNING (DAY 1) Dre’s reading the paper and eating his pastry as we left him.
His father, POPS, 60, enters and sits without saying a word.
Pops takes the pastry off Dre’s plate and starts to read his newspaper. ZOEY, 14, enters. As usual, her head’s buried in her iPhone. She sits down, takes the pastry from Pops’ plate and continues texting without saying a word to anyone.
As Zoey shrugs and goes back to texting and Pops goes back to his paper, Dre inconspicuously SELF-TESTS his breath. ANDRE JR., 12, enters and POURS HIMSELF A GLASS OF ORANGE JUICE.
Dre shakes his head at Pops as he and Andre Jr. head out.
INT. DRE’S TESLA TRUCK / EXT. VALLEY PREP- MORNING (DAY 1) Dre and Andre Jr. are riding in the car.
Dre throws his hands up, exasperated, as he pulls into the DROP-OFF LINE at VALLEY PREP and Andre Jr. prepares to go into the SEA OF WHITENESS that is his school.
Andre Jr. grabs his bag and begins to EXIT THE CAR. As he does, a neighborhood friend, ZACH, 13, (White, laid back, perpetually matter-of-fact) walks by.
Dre ROLLS UP THE WINDOW and and shakes his head, disgusted,
as he drives off from Andre Jr. and WE GO TO:
EXT. ESTABLSIHING RELEVANT ADVERTISING - DAY (DAY 1)The pristine mirrored finish of the RELEVANT ADVERTISING offices.
INT. RELEVANT ADVERTISING - LOBBY - DAY (DAY 1) Jean Knight’s “Mr. Big Stuff” SCORES as Dre makes his way through the lobby and is greeted by ALL, but none more fondly than the other BLACK EMPLOYEES (SECURITY GUARDS, JANITORS, MAIL ROOM GUYS, etc.)
Dre exchanges a flurry of different but equally impactful 'HEAD NODS', 'FIST PUMPS', and 'WHAT UP'S' with his “FAMILY.” INT. RELEVANT ADVERTISING - DRE’S OFFICE - DAY (DAY 1) Dre enters and is greeted by his assistant, KRIS LEVINE, 23.
Josh furrows, confused, as Dre smiles, smugly, and we, GO TO:
INT. RELEVANT ADVERTISING - CONFERENCE ROOM - DAY (DAY 1)The meeting is in full swing. The boss, MR. STEVENSON, (60, White, nouveau-liberal, voted for Barack... the second time) addresses the EMPLOYEES, seated around the conference table.
The room is split by a CLEAR LINE OF SEGREGATION. On ONE SIDE of the table, the MINORITIES.
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Underneath them a CHYRON reads: “US.” On the OTHER SIDE, the WHITE EMPLOYEES, who underneath a CHYRON reads: “THEM.”
ANGLE ON: Dre's smiling face as he IMAGINES THIS MOMENT.
INSERT: With a quick “DING,” we see Dre and Josh SWAP SEATS.
Dre, now seated on the 'THEM' side, has his LEGS KICKED UP on the table EATING SNACKS. Off DRE’S SMILING FACE, we,
As Mr. Stevenson continues to talk, Dre eagerly, yet subtly, begins to GATHER HIS THINGS, STAND, and WALK from the “US” side of the table to the “THEM” side of the table. Dre is now on the “THEM” side of the table, attempting to squeeze into an EMPTY CHAIR next to Josh.
On Dre’s shocked and confused face, we GO TO, INT. DRE’S HOUSE - DINING ROOM - THAT EVENING - NIGHT (NIGHT 1) The entire Johnson family, including Pops, eats a buffet style dinner. Rainbow stands, RAISING HER GLASS.
Off Rainbow, Dre looks at her, INCREDULOUS, as WE GO TO:
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INT. BASKETBALL GYM - DAY - FLASHBACKTWO CAPTAINS are selecting teams from a GROUP OF 6'5”, ATHLETIC WHITE GUYS gathered in front of them, and Dre. Team Captain #1 scans his athletic White options but then narrows his gaze on Dre, who SNACKS ON CHIPS, then TAKES A PUFF ON
HIS ASTHMA INHALER.
Dre cuts an INCREDULOUS LOOK to Rainbow, sitting in the bleachers.
EXT. STREET - DAY - FLASHBACKDre sits in his car. Rainbow’s in the passenger seat. They have been pulled over by a POLICE CAR whose lights are on behind them. A COP approaches Dre's window.
Off this, Dre turns and shoots Rainbow another INCREDULOUS LOOK.
INT. DOCTOR'S OFFICE - DAY - FLASHBACKDre is lying on a patient table in linens. Rainbow sits on the chair next to him as the DOCTOR speaks to him.
Rainbow and Dre’s argument is interrupted as Jack and Diane enter from school with Pops. They cross and greet their parents.
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Rainbow cuts Pops a GLARE. He throws his hands up and crosses to the bathroom as Andre Jr. in full Field Hockey uniform enters home from try-outs with Zach.
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Dre grabs his head in pain off Zach calling Dre “Andy”. As Zach exits and Pops crosses back in, Dre GLARES to Andre Jr. Before he can say anything, Zoey, on her cell phone, crosses in.
Off Dre, having had enough, we GO TO, INT. HOME THEATRE - A LITTLE LATER (DAY 2) The FAMILY minus Pops, is seated in a modest (as far as Home Theatre’s go) Home Theatre Room. Dre, pacing back in forth in front of the MUTED SCREEN which is playing Spike Lee’s, ‘Malcolm X’, turns to his family, all business.
As family sits slack jawed at Dre’s announcement we CUT TO, INSERT: Over the aggressive, hardcore, bass line of Dead Prez's, “Hip-Hop,” we see ICONIC, REVOLUTIONARY IMAGES from moments of social upheaval throughout Black history (i.e. the classic photo of a boy being bit by a dog in Birmingham, video footage of Civil Rights marchers being hosed, video footage of Muhammad Ali angrily speaking to an audience of Black Muslims, and for some reason there's even a clip of SHAQ DUNKING ON CHRIS DUDLEY). As the music SLOWLY FADES, we HOLD on one last image,
the INDELIBLE SHOT of MALCOLM X LOOKING OUT OF HIS WINDOWHOLDING AN M-1 CARBINE RIFLE. This image, along with the screen, then suddenly FADES TO BLACK. After a beat, a CHYRON over the black reads: “SAMSUNG - GALAXY BRIGHT” Off this, WE,
INT. RELEVANT ADVERTISING - CONFERENCE ROOM - DAY (DAY 3)
PULL OUT to see we’ve been watching a FLAT SCREEN MONITOR.
As the LIGHTS COME ON the camera PANS to see that Dre has just presented this pitch to Mr. Stevenson and the other BOSSES. Dre stands looking on DEFIANTLY as a mix of LEGITIMATE FEAR and ANGER is plastered across the faces of his BOSSES. Off this WE,
EXT. DRE’S HOUSE - BACK YARD - DAY (DAY 4) The backyard’s been transformed into what appears to be a mock AFRICAN VILLAGE as the classic Ugandan ceremonial hymn, “Ngayaya” plays on an iPod as Dre, in ridiculous looking AFRICAN GARB, goes over traditional African “Rites of Passage” practices with a clearly unhappy, Andre Jr., who’s holding a WOODEN STAFF.
Pops and Dre’s BICKERING is interrupted by Rainbow, home from work, comes outside to the scenario of Dre, dressed in his African garb, arguing with Pops dressed as a Black Panther, while Ugandan music blares and Andre Jr. holds a large stick.
Rainbow turns and heads inside, leaving Dre to his thoughts.
EXT. DRE’S HOUSE - FRONT YARD - A LITTLE LATER (DAY 4) Dre, clearly bothered by everything, is shooting hoops by himself when Pops and Andre Jr. come outside to join him.
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